I'm a
Four on the Enneagram. I struggle with knowing whether I want to
write because I have something inside that needs to come out (and it's worthy), or if it's
ego-driven, and about wanting recognition. Over the years I've thought of several
ideas for books but haven't done anything with them. (Eventually I see the ideas
written by someone else.)
Here's what I've learned from writing my own book:
In the beginning it
was a mixture of
ego-drive and something inside that needed to come out. I encourage you to accept
that some ego-drive is a good thing. Wanting recognition is a natural human
condition and a good business strategy. It doesn't matter at this point where the
motivation comes from, because the book that needs to come out will make itself known to
you along the way.
As I've heard novelists describe not knowing what
their characters would do next, my book began to inform me how it wanted to be
written about a third of the way through. The next to last chapter, which was
unplanned at the beginning, came to me as a vision in the shower one morning when I saw
the nine-dots diagram (connect nine dots in three rows with only four straight
lines) but with the nine Enneagram numbers instead of dots. Its title, of
course, is "Connecting the Dots." The last chapter, which is by far the
best and most innovative of all the chapters, simply hit me on the head one day after I
finished Connecting the Dots. These did not come in sequence -- I had only finished
a few of the case descriptions that go in the middle of the book.
Stay open also to synchronous events that will
shape your book as they did mine, most notably (1) a client saying she
didn't know how to close a sale and my asking myself, "How do I do that? What's my approach based on?" and (2) a free full-day workshop in Orlando (2
hours away) sponsored by the Milton Erickson Foundation, that renewed my enthusiasm for
coaching applications of really great therapeutic techniques.
It's natural to feel overwhelmed. While
chunking down is a good strategy for my Enneagram style,
Nine (so we don't get distracted), it's also a good strategy for all
writers. It isn't as overwhelming, for example, to take one topic and write down a
few things about it, see where it leads you. You've probably read Natalie Goldberg's
Writing Down the Bones or similar books on writing. She and others always
say to write something no matter what. It really does prime the pump.
For me the golden key was my web site. Every day I'd write
something
to go on a web page, even if it was searching out a poem that illustrated a certain
dynamic, or looking for a background I liked to set off a particular skill or case I
was describing. Making it public on the web site forced a commitment. I gave
myself permission à la Natalie Goldberg "to write the worst crap in America,"
then I'd go back the next day and fine-tune it. So my writing never sat in a drawer
somewhere.
Sheila Bender has a wonderful online magazine and
resource for poets and writers at
WritingItReal.com.
Sometimes when stuck I've used writing exercises, for prose or
poetry. Below is an example where I looked for headlines in a New Yorker
magazine that attracted me, rearranged them, added a few words, and let my psyche take
over:
Hollywood Ending
I want to write poetry with panache,
brilliant and bawdy prose,
to show exceptional taste,
eat Hersheys in the park.
I want to be fluent in flowers,
indulge in jazz sensibilities,
Latin leanings, create a sound
that changes everything for me.
I want you to lend me your ears, Ma.
Instead, I eat your words,
telepathic with MyOldLady.com
where innovation is a horror.
I think what's possible, but
surrender to your ingenious
reinterpretations,
your spiritual intrigues.
The separation between
mi casa and
su casa confounds my life.
Are these proving grounds or the devil's workshop?
Butt out, I said yesterday. Now
I sit in a booth, decide between
a little umbrella and an olive on a sword.
Orphaned, I will book a room
a world away with soaring windows,
wait for the miracle I feel but never see,
read the silence of the educated fans.