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Out of the Box Coaching and
Breakthroughs with the Enneagram, Mary R. Bast, Ph.D. 
Copyright © 1999. All rights reserved. Revised: December 31, 2011 

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Reflect on How Patterns of Behavior Have Maintained Relationship Problems (From Leverage Points Blog)

1. Write a story in third person about yourself as you operate in the relationship. Pick a timeframe that highlights some of the difficulties you're having.

2. What familiar patterns do you recognize and what are you likely to do next time, given the same circumstances? What's your payoff in using these patterns? What's the cost to you and others for continuing these patterns?

3. Consider how you might revise your patterns to increase the payoff and decrease the cost. It's often difficult to change or get rid of entrenched patterns. However, you may see better ways to use a pattern that brings different – and better – results.