Write a story in
third person about yourself as you operate in
the relationship. Pick a timeframe that
highlights some of the difficulties you're
having.
What familiar
patterns do you recognize and what are you
likely to do next time, given the same
circumstances? What's your payoff in using these
patterns? What's the cost to you and others for
continuing these patterns?
Consider how you
might revise your patterns to increase the
payoff and decrease the cost. It's often
difficult to change or get rid of entrenched
patterns. However, you may see better ways to
use a pattern that brings different – and better
– results.