of the Box
my 25+ years of coaching experience:
Circle of Concern - Circle of Influence
the good suggestions in
The 7 Habits of
Highly Effective People, "Habit 1: Be Proactive" is particularly useful when
you feel powerless against life's forces. Covey
recommends examining what you can do instead of
focusing on worries over which you have no control.
First notice all your concerns.
Then, among those
concerns, determine where you can take action:
Think of ways to be more
address the things you can do something about. Your circle of influence
will enlarge and your circle
of concern will shrink:
Covey distinguishes between the
have's ("If only I
had...") and the be's ("I can be..."). Focusing on
what you don't like is disempowering. Focusing on what you can do is
proactive and empowering. "Be part of the solution," Covey
suggests, "not part of the problem."