Active Listening
PARAPHRASE: Play back what you heard the other person say,
which focuses your listening and ensures clear, two-way
communication. If your restatement is not quite on target, others will usually clarify
what they meant.
Statement: "I don't understand what top management wants. They say
our order of priorities is safety, quality, and schedule. But if a project
is late, all hell breaks loose!"
Paraphrase:
"It seems you're
getting mixed messages."
REFLECT:
Describe what others seem to be feeling, which helps diffuse tension, acknowledges
their right to express feelings, and lets them know you support them, even if you disagree.
Statement: "I don't understand what top management wants. They say
our order of priorities is safety, quality, and schedule. But if a project
is late, all hell breaks loose!"
Reflect:
"You sound pretty upset about that."
OPEN PROBE*: Encourage
others
to describe or amplify.
Statement: "I don't understand what top management wants. They say
our order of priorities is safety, quality, and schedule. But if a project
is late, all hell breaks loose!"
Open Probe: "Tell me more about your
latest project." "How did you decide on
deadlines?" "What are your expectations at this
point?"
*
* *
*NOTE: A closed probe only encourages "yes" or "no."
It may also make
people feel they're being interrogated:
Statement: "I don't understand what top management wants. They say
our order of priorities is safety, quality, and schedule. But if a project
is late, all hell breaks loose!"
Closed
Probe: "Have you complained to your boss?"
"Are you thinking of quitting?"
