Life without play is a grinding,
mechanical existence organized around doing the things
necessary for survival. Play is the stick that stirs the
drink. It is the basis of all art, games, books, sports,
movies, fashion, fun, and wonder. Stuart Brown, M.D.,
Play: How it Shapes the Brain, Opens the Mind, and
Invigorates the Soul.
Early in his book on play, Brown describes
his yellow Lab’s reaction after a long car trip to a cousin’s
ranch: “In half a second Jake is flying out the door, a blond
blur zipping toward the pasture. He races at full gallop one way
and reverses, paws tearing up the dust in a skidding turn, then
accelerates to warp speed in the opposite direction. His mouth
is agape, the corners pulled back in a canine grin, his tongue
lolling out one side… Doggie heaven."
Like Jake, we humans have the opportunity to
take in a scene with all our senses and devote ourselves to
playing there. Dr. Brown’s research has demonstrated that play
is not only fun, energizing, and enlivening, it is also “a
profound biological process… that shapes the brain and makes
animals smarter and more adaptable.” In humans, play fosters
empathy, makes complex social groups possible, and facilitates
creativity and innovation.
In Spring, 2011, I had a play-date with my
friend Davis, arriving at Ichetucknee River State Park at 6:00
AM for a sunrise canoe trip. Eager to get started, we were the
first ones in our canoe and thus the first ones to discover the
cushions we sat on were damp from the fog clouding the
water’s surface and rising in swirls all around us. The
temperature was 40° F and stayed there without significant
change for our two hours on the river. Even though we both wore
layers of clothing, we were soon shaking with the cold. We
didn’t even have the exertion of rowing to warm us because we
were floating downstream in a group of canoes and only needed to
paddle lightly to change course when heading toward a bank,
another canoe, or an immersed tree trunk.
Yet we were almost deliriously happy, every
seemingly difficult obstacle to enjoyment an opportunity to
laugh ourselves silly. Both of us are artists and we’d been
talking for a year about photographing the Ichetucknee as
inspiration for paintings. The river was incomparably beautiful,
every element of water and shore made strange and new by the
parting mist as we drew closer. It was completely different from
photos we’d seen or paintings we’d imagined, and that difference
was exciting and seductive. Between gasps of appreciation and
shivers of cold, we each took photo after photo, our minds
adapting to these unexpected circumstances with a playful
attitude, no need to predict if it would get warmer or the mist
would rise, so completely taken with this river’s invitation to
open all our senses. Like Jake, our mouths were agape, we were
present to an environment over which we had no control, free to
bask in awe, the shivering of our bodies irrelevant to the
larger experience. The Ichetucknee presented itself to us as it
was, not as we expected it to be.
“When people know their core truths,” writes
Brown, “and live in accord with what I call their ‘play
personality,’ the result is always a life of incredible power
and grace.”
I’m intrigued by the idea of “play
personalities,” because play is the key element in changing our
habitual patterns. The last section of my
Self-Coaching
Workbook, Pattern-Breaking Experiments, emphasizes “how to
consciously enact a pattern, but with a small, creative, and
often humorous twist… if you laugh when you think of an
experiment, that’s probably a good one to try.” When
brainstorming with clients about ways to change a pattern, I
always know by their laughter when we’ve come up with something
that will reframe their worldview and re-shape their brains.
Imagine the difference between approaching a problematic pattern
with a playful attitude or anticipating how difficult it will be
to change something you’ve been doing all your life.
For example, one of my clients (a
Nine) described an
aspect of himself he had to “watch,” meaning he had to try to
STOP doing it. Exploring this “do your own thing” part, he
realized it was also the seat of his creativity and courage; it
could be irresponsible, but also mischievous and playful. He
wanted to feel more free to redirect his business focus without
taking untenable risks, so I asked him, instead of saying NO to
his mischievous part when it showed up, to consider what he
might do that would invite its courageous aspect while remaining
responsible. He immediately saw a lion “in the Serengeti
Plains.” This lion was “majestic, knows who I am, is attuned
with my nature, assertive.”
So far so good. Then I asked him how the lion
would express itself. “It would ROAR,” he said, and started
laughing. Ah, laughter, our cue that he could approach this
change playfully.
It’s tempting to explore the “play
personality” of each Enneagram style, and if you Google the term
you’ll find Psychology Today’s quiz that lists nine (yes,
nine!) play personalities. Some of them will even look
suspiciously like Enneagram styles (The Competitor, The Artist,
The Joker, The Director). But that could lead to rigid
definitions and discourage play. I loved writing an Enneagram
coaching book with Clarence (a
Seven). I’ve been
energized creating playshops on presence with Tim Flood (a
Four). I’m always
enlivened by conversations with one of my
Eight clients. I’ve
often likened the Five’s
enjoyment of intellectual engagement to The Vulcan Mind Meld —
an interesting parallel, given Brown’s demonstration that the
brain can be re-grooved by play. So without a specific
expectation, explore the unique play personality of each of your
clients, considering these properties of play:
-
Apparent purposelessness, done for its own
sake
-
Voluntary
-
Inherently attractive, fun, feels good
-
Freedom from time
-
Diminished consciousness of self
-
Improvisational potential, open to chance,
see things in a new way
-
Desire to continue, find ways to keep it
going; want to do it again
