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Ones
move from seeing primarily what's wrong to developing nuance and
options.
You might
suggest they make a list of their rules, then choose one to
throw away or modify. Get them to laugh about this, or they may
balk (make it playful, which is another good strategy for Ones).
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Instead of
losing themselves by taking care of others,
Twos become loving and
learn to give without strings.
I often
suggest that Twos do a reality check on their tendency to read
minds – write down what they assume about someone's needs, then
check it out with the other person, and listen humbly to any
differences.
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Threes shift from
succeeding at any price to being inner-directed and
communal.
Help them
discover what they're feeling – you might start with a physical
sensation because Threes often don't know how to label their
feelings. "Is it more a good feeling or a bad feeling?" "If it's
good is it really, really good, or just kind of good?" "Do you
think it could be mild pleasure, or even joy?"
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Fours,
who are moody and blocked by melancholy when in their box,
become effective in the external world.
Metaphors
work with all Enneagram styles, but especially well with Fours;
journaling about and discussing their dreams can also lead to
fascinating discoveries.
-
Fives move from a
reserved and reserving style to integrating action with
thinking, and becoming generous.
Some Fives
I've coached have benefited from practicing sitting or standing
at varying distances from people and noticing how their comfort
level changes.
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The
suspiciousness and self-doubt of
Sixes is transformed
into trust of self and others, as well as self-assured action.
Sixes – who may focus primarily on what can go wrong – can be
coached to incorporate their concerns into a solution statement.
For example, instead of, "That won't work because it will take
too long," they might learn to say, "I think that could solve
our problem; let's talk about how we can shorten the production
time."
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Sevens can be scattered
and unreliable; they break through as visionaries who are
realistically enthusiastic.
One of the
best ways for Sevens to learn to stay with something painful is
to coach them to solicit feedback about themselves and to
respond without defensiveness – by finding some part to agree
with and then probing for examples (encourage them to give no
explanation in response; just to understand what the other
person is saying).
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From being
driven by a war mentality and power seeking,
Eights become
compassionate and just.
When I catch
Eights being soft I give them lots of encouragement. With
business clients I often recommend an article from the Center
for Creative Leadership on “Forceful and Enabling Leadership.”
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Immobile and
indecisive Nines become
focused and initiating. They remain inclusive while remembering
their own agenda.
Nines are
often unaware of their anger, so to bring it into consciousness
I recommend a daily log, where they ask themselves, "If I were
to have been at all angry today, what might have caused it?"
