BOUNDARIES™
Boundaries are imaginary lines we
establish around ourselves to protect our souls, hearts and minds
from the unhealthy or damaging behavior of others. It is recommended
to extend your boundaries at least two or three times beyond where
they are.
WHEN YOU HAVE HEALTHY BOUNDARIES
-
Fear diminishes significantly;
trust is rarely an issue.
-
Willing, healthy family members
and true friends respect these.
-
You (and they) start growing
more emotionally and developmentally.
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOUR BOUNDARIES
ARE WEAK
THE 10 STEPS TO EXTENSIVE
BOUNDARIES
-
Acknowledge that you
want to
dramatically extend your boundaries.
-
Be willing to educate others to respect your new
boundaries.
-
Be relentless, yet not
punitive, as you extend boundaries.
-
Make a list of the 10 things
people may no longer do around you, do to you or say to
you.
-
Sit down with each person
involved and share your process with them; obtain an agreement
to honor you.
-
Require that every single
person in your life is always unconditionally constructive in
every single comment to you: No more digs, make-funs,
deprecating remarks, criticisms, no matter what or who or the
situation!
-
Have and use a 4-step plan of
action whenever someone violates your boundaries: (1) Inform them
what they're doing, (2) Implore them to stop immediately,
(3) Require
that they stop, (4) Walk away without any snappy or get-even
comments.
-
Make a list of 10 ways you are
violating others' boundaries.
-
Stop violating the boundaries
on that list.
-
Reward, congratulate those who
are respecting boundaries (including yourself).
© 1998 Coach U, Inc. All rights reserved. May not be duplicated,
retransmitted or reproduced or used by anyone unless they are in Coach
U, Inc.'s Coach Training Program.
Dr. Bast is affiliated
with
Coach U, which
has a copyright on these materials.
